The soul destroying myth of motivation

According to Psychology Today motivation is “the desire to act in service of a goal.”

That is probably true, but there are a few critical components missing when it comes to understanding our own motivations.

When it comes to the definition of motivation there are a few things missing including,

Which goal?

Why?

When?

We are motivated by many things and these change over time. Some motivators are immediate, some are long-term, some are internal, some external.

For example, you may be motivated to eat “better” but what does that mean exactly?

Without a clear idea of what better means, it is almost impossible to feel successful. This is important for sustained change and motivation.

Maybe better means eating less processed foods. Even that is too vague. What does processed food mean to you? What will you eat instead? When do you want to eat less processed foods? So many details missing which makes it harder to feel successful because there is no clear definition of success.

Feeling successful is an important part of motivation.

That is why checking your email, social media, or the news every 15 minutes is so easy. There is an immediate reward.

A little dopamine hit

Any addictive reward-seeking behaviour delivers a dopamine hit. Dopamine is a chemical produced in our brains that rewards behaviour and increases repetition.

Not eating processed food doesn’t result in the same reward.

We get a dopamine hit when we eat food we crave. Not when we avoid it.

Internal or External Motivators

What about the thing motivates you? Doing it? Or accomplishing it? The difference between internal and external motivation also plays a role in the ultimate outcome.

An internal motivator is yours alone. An inner desire to accomplish something driven by your strengths and values.

External motivators are outside factors, they can be useful but often temporary.

For example, two people want to start running. The first one, Jane wants to run because she doesn’t like feeling out of breath at the top of a set of stairs. She wants to feel strong and fit.

John wants to start running because he wants to run a virtual 10 KM to raise money for a local charity in 3 months.

These are both great reasons, but Jane is internally motivated and John is motivated by the external goal of finishing the 10 KM.

SMART goals

If you have ever set a goal you probably already know that SMART goals are thought to work best.

SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic and within a specific Time Frame.

Based on this information it looks like John will be more successful.

Successful at what though?

At being able to run for 10 KM in three months? Maybe. But is that motivator sustainable? Will it make the difference?

Based on my experience helping people change I wouldn’t place my money on John. At least not at long-term change.

Even if nothing goes wrong (and when does this ever happen?) John is probably not going to be running 6 months from now.

You know how it happens

There is no goal to train for and life gets in the way. Maybe work gets busier, or the kids start a new sports team, you get injured or decide to finally finish that home renovation project. The external motivation to run has been replaced by other more immediate goals.

Six months later John is feeling bad and thinking “How come I can’t stick to an exercise plan?”

He didn’t have a plan for long term fitness. John had an external goal.

Successfully completed ✔︎

It wasn’t meant to last.

There is nothing wrong with John. He just didn’t have another fitness goal. BTW I think goals are overrated, but that is another topic for another day.

Internal Motivation

The desire to accomplish something for personal satisfaction.

Goals driven internally are also subject to external forces, but there is no finish line. There is always the ability to get better.

To start again.

Internal motivation is not better than being externally motivated.

It is different.

Internal motivation has no finish line. That can be a challenge too.

You may be internally motivated to eat better because you want to avoid developing a chronic disease, but then you are stuck in the middle of a pandemic and well WTF? I might as well eat chips every day because no one lives forever.

When?

It all comes down to timing.

You could be highly motivated to start exercising on Sunday night then come Monday morning, maybe not so much?

To wait to feel motivated to change is backwards thinking.

If you make one small step in the right direction you feel more motivated (that dopamine hit in action).

In the words of one of my favourite Neurologists, Dr. Dean Sherzai

Motivation is a top down word that has no denominator.

Dr. Dean Sherzai

I couldn’t agree more.

Action is motivating

Being internally and externally motivated can be helpful, but when it comes to changing a habit it’s better to rely on a process, not a feeling.

Relying on motivation can really be soul-destroying when success never comes. When it feels you are constantly starting over and never getting anywhere. When you feel like something is wrong with you because you just can’t get motivated.

It is not you. The belief that motivation is the answer that is the problem.

It is not.

There are better ways to realize your dreams. Start with the process. And start small. Really small. But, that is also for another day.

Change your mind, change your health,

Shayla